A good example of the inadequacy of this position can be found by just looking around. Who hasn't met the families in which the parents put their lives on the altar of child-rearing but got completely the opposite result? One woman dreamed of raising a prodigy so that she simply overdid it. She took the child to different classes and tutors, saved for the best university and even bought her son an apartment in the center of the capital. However, the guy could not stand such pressure and broke down, starting gambling and drinking alcohol. He didn’t become a genius because he didn’t understand what he really wants from life and because he could not justify his mother's hopes.
Wednesday, June 19, 2019
Kids Shouldn’t Be Your Sense of Life
How often do parents betray their dreams for the love of a child? They voluntarily give up their personal life and career, sacrifice their interests, making the child the center of the universe, and for what? Nobody needs a charity that seems to be a dead weight for the children, cultivating a lot of complexes in them. Parents put themselves on the back burner without thinking about what example they are setting. They do not know how to value themselves and directly participate in the broken destinies of their own kids.
Look at these families, it's a little sad seeing. In such a relationship, there are too many insults and unjustified expectations, the mother is a constant victim, and the child is overwhelmed by overprotection. And that's understandable since parents spent “their best years of life” to raise them, so the kids must work off their "debt", sacrificing their happiness in the same way! They are forced to accept the rules of the game, try the role of a debtor, putting the interests of parents above their own.
Why You Shouldn't Make a Child a Sense of Your Life?
Someday they will grow up and leave you, and you will end up with nothing. You should better develop yourself, improving skills and looking for friends. Your spouse, unlike a child, will always be there. Do not voluntarily turn yourself into a martyr or become a hostage to the future of your offspring. Children should get their own experience. Help them get on their feet, teach them everything you know and protect them as much as you can. However, do not keep them in a cage for the sake of "security," it is better to encourage them to become mature and move towards adventure.
They will be able to develop their abilities only after leaving you. Remember that you should have your own life. Think about what brings you joy, except for parenthood. Is it about creativity, work, travel or spiritual practices? Direct the energy towards yourself, take care of your soul and the realization of your talents. You cannot love others without learning self-respect. This is the example you set for children. It is silly to live in dysfunctional relationships for the sake of the illusive well-being of children. One day they will grow up and realize how much they have been deceived. Do you want such a life? Stop making unnecessary sacrifices.