Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Gentle Discipline, Competition, Etc.

Slight cold, trying to squelch the little buggers with, uh, overeating... I'll let you know if that works. Moving the baby's well-baby visit to the pedi to Sat because, this gal's no longer a freelancin', freewheelin' agent. Who am I kidding? When was I ever freewheeling in my life? No such pentecostal, I believe, lol...
We were doing our groceries last Sunday and Cameron began to throw the mother of all fits, and there was only one way to calm him down. The nursing station was 3 floors above, so I opted to just find a bench where I could feed the baby, but all the benches nearby were occupied, so I ended up at a Books for Less (thanks to the super nice clerks there), nursing and browsing through the parenting section (the chair was right next to that shelf). Anyway, I was thrilled to find Dr. Sears' Discipline book... As I've mentioned here ad nauseam, I'm doing gentle discipline, but my efforts kind of got derailed ever since we moved back in with my parents. It's a lame excuse, but I just don't have a thick enough hide for certain people's disapproval... So essentially, there's my naturally fiery temper and then the fact that my child's behavior is under scrutiny, so I've kind of strayed from what I believe in just to prove that I'm in control of my child (which is not what I want in the first place -- I want to be in charge, but not in control...) Anyway, with the book, I can get some support and guidance. Mark is also reading it, so at least, we could be a team about the discipline thing. In the past, he was pretty clueless about the method, but he trusted me to have chosen well and to know what I was doing (so unfair, right?)...


Also, here's an article I really like: Striking the Right Balance. I first heard this philosophy from the TV show Dharma & Greg. Dharma's dad Larry was against Dharma entering a ballroom dancing contest because he'd taught her to disapprove of competition -- what he said really struck a chord with me, something about not having to be better than others to feel good about one's self. For somebody who could be a little cut-throat, I found myself really liking the thought behind that. I was the dorky kid who had to have the highest scores, who had to win all the contests (not raffles  though as I've always sucked and continue to suck at those... more like the bees type of contests -- you know, spelling, quiz, etc.)... I know this is not a popular belief, but it's what I adhere to...

4 comments:

Sharkbytes (TM) said...

I think I exerted a bit more control than you would like to do. I'm not sure how well the suggestion kind of discipline works with some kids.

spinninglovelydays said...

Gentle discipline is definitely not a very popular method, esp not in Asia...

Sharkbytes said...

Happy Thanksgiving, Ivy- Hope you had a great one! But you probably don't celebrate it.

spinninglovelydays said...

Happy thanksgiving! We generally don't here, but I would have if I had the time, lol