Saturday, April 16, 2011

Grindstones, Sieves, and a Threat

We're a single income family. My husband works very hard to provide for us. I do what I can to contribute to our funds, but my main job is raising our child (soon to be children) and keeping the home. Mark's job is mostly overtime and he also pursues many other interests that happily  bring in some lucre. Understandably, there are days when Marguerite does not even see him at all (fortunately, these are few and far between). Mark is very good about making up for these super busy days and it's a given that his weekends are for his family (unless he has some paying gig, of course -- like I said, we're a single income family). When he seems to be forgetting this (and he's not inclined to -- but the lure of a good time with friends will pull, you know -- and far be it from me to begrudge him his fun time with friends; he can have that on weeknights. His weekends are for his daughter. PERIOD. Whoever messes with this arrangement can be assured of my disfavor.), I have no qualms about reminding him and setting him straight. Anyway, I know that it's also important to Mark that he have plenty of quality time with Marguerite, and he finds Marguerite's welcome (you should see the little girl's excitement and genuine happiness) at the end of a loooong work day to be just the ticket to banish the exhaustion away. 
On this note, I'd like to share that on Wednesday night (well, Thursday morning to be accurate), Mark didn't get home until 3:30 and when he was preparing to go to work the following work day (although of course, that was actually the same morning), Marguerite very sweetly told him that she'd missed him, adding, "Don't go to work, Daddy. Stay home with me." Aw, that just about broke my heart. I'm pretty sure that if Mark hadn't had something important going on that day, he would have ditched work. I had to admire his resolve to do the responsible thing. If it had been me, I would probably have called in my resignation right then and there, but then again, that's easy for me to say since I'm not the family's breadwinner. Oh, these moments! I really have all the respect for moms who work outside the home and have probably dealt with many scenes like this.
The point, I guess, in all this is that I appreciate Mark's efforts in finding a balance (well, a sort of balance) between his roles. He's a great dad and while it's true that he does "grind, grind, grind at that grindstone", he also realizes that "child'ood slips like sand through a sieve", hence the weekends for Marguerite (and remember, whoever tries to take this time away from my daughter has to deal with my IRE!!!). I sometimes tease Mark by singing "Cat's in the Cradle" when he's super busy, but I really am confident that he  wouldn't allow himself to miss out on those wonderful Marguerite Moments. 
Anyway, here's a video of that Mary Poppins song I quoted...

9 comments:

Nikka said...

Oh how my heart just melted there! Paul has been working so hard recently what with his fulltime job at the academy, class for his masters twice a week and swim coaching 3 nights a week (and saturday mornings too).

We knew it would be an investment in time (and a lot of parenting on my part) for him to take his masters, but sacrifices must be made.

There are days I want to scream and kick and tell him it isn't worth it. But I stand by the decision, with videocam in hand so he doesn't miss out on the really important stuff like tea parties or bathing the dog.

Crib said...

i share the same sentiment with my husband. he is a good provider and a good father to my child. when he goes home he see to it that would play to my daughter before going to sleep.

like you, i will also do my duties as a mom and a wife in the best way i can.

spinninglovelydays said...

@Nikka: Wow... that's real stamina. I hope he gets a break during the summer. All these sacrifices... do you think we're all grown up now, Nikka? I still have my doubts. :)

@Crib: We really have to give them props for all their efforts. :)

Nikka said...

I don't know, Ivy. There are days that I feel like I'm still playing house up in Subic. We bought a car recently and have 5 years to pay it off. That fely very grown-uppy. But most days I have one foot in the door of adultdom and the other, hanging from a ledge, testing life.

Very Alice in Wonderland. But without drinking or eating mystery things.

Sharkbytes (TM) said...

What can I tell you? I love that movie.

spinninglovelydays said...

@Nikka: I know what you mean. There are days when it all still seems surreal...

@Sharkbytes: Marguerite is really into it right now, that and Disney's 1950's Cinderella.

chubskulit said...

I remember watching Mary Poppins when I was in HS sis... Ganyan din kami sis nung active duty pa si hubby.. Now that he's retired, kahit salat sa finances, he chose not to work for a while so that he could be with us most of the time.

Mama Mia said...

We're in the same boat, sister! I'm also blessed to have an understanding and a very supportive husband, and a loving father to our daughter. All his troubles at work seem to vanish the minute our little one stops doing whatever she was doing, the minute he steps in the house. He says that alone makes it all worthwhile. God bless our husbands!

spinninglovelydays said...

@Rose: I can only imagine what it's like for families with a parent who's on active duty or who works abroad. I admire John's prioritization. :)

@Mama Mia: Congrats on finding another good man. :)