Where did the past four years go? I know they've been filled with many wondrous moments - pure wonder heaped with generous portions of other adjectives spanning the distance that my vocabulary can run and beyond. I just tried to capture and pin down feelings as a tumult of sensations rose in my chest at the thought of my years thus far with you. I think I nailed wild and hackle-raising as scenes from potty training flashed past to cushy-cozy and sublime at the recollection of sleepy cuddles and sweet hugs.
I've been collecting and documenting everything. I've got scrapbooks, notebooks, memento boxes and yet the past four years still seem surreal. One moment I had a teeny tiny baby I could hold with one arm and the next, this vivacious little girl who lets you know her GRAND IDEAS in WORDS and does things for herself and learns with and without my INTENT that it's a little panic-inducing.
Right now, I look at the sleeping you and bar the long hair and the glimpses of teeth your slightly parted lips offer, you don't look much different from my images of you as a sleeping baby. But you'll wake up soon and, instead of coos and gurgles, you'll greet me with a good morning. Sometimes you ask if I slept well. You'll get up and try to find out what's new this morning, curiosity showing in a very lovely light in your eyes. It's another one of those scenes I've stashed for permanence and easy retrieval in my mind, alongside images of your 2-month old head snoozing on my chest and the feel of your soft, delicate newborn body in my arms. Occasionally, I worry that my mind isn't big enough to hold all the memories I want to preserve. I'm definitely backing up with plenty of journaling (blogging included). Should you learn to read before the great rapture happens, you're welcome to read everything (naturally, as they're mostly letters to you) and hopefully everything I was feeling as I wrote them would translate themselves well from those pages. It is very important to me that you always be aware of the love that accompanies you ever-present as you live your life.
We thank God always for blessing us with a most lovely daughter. Dad and I take this particular "stewardship" very seriously and pray that we be terrific parents and teachers to you. My desire for your future is termed in the abstract - goodness and happiness. You can be whatever you want to be and do whatever you want to do according to the will and way of God. My hope is that we expose you to the proper training and that you grow up loving and worshiping Jesus, being the best that you can be to bless and glorify His name.
Te quiero muchísimo, mi hijita xoxo